Why You Should Be Proud of Your Life's Journey
A Reflection on How to See God's Hand Shaping Your Life Right Now
“Maybe all a man gets is strength to wander for a while. Maybe the only gift is a chance to inquire, to know nothing for certain. An inheritance of wonder and nothing more.”
—William Least Heat Moon
A Note for the Curious:
I began writing this post as a new “About” page. But it turned into a reflection on the road I’ve travelled so far in life and in my career. Think of it as a prelude to another post I’m writing about where I’m headed next in my life and career. It’s exciting and scary, and time. And, it’s coming your way very soon.
We’re only given this one life, and I’m always wondering to myself, “Ok God, where is it you want us to go? What do you want us to do for the Kingdom?”
So, as you read, think of this less of an “Oh, this is just a list of Tim’s accomplishments, and more of a “This is where God’s taken Tim and his family; maybe I should write down my own timeline.” If you do that, then I consider this post a success. I also consider it a success if you read it and feel inspired to make a change in your career or reflect on God’s provision and goodness in your life or pray for me as I continue along this (new) path.
As always, I’m so thankful that you’re here in this space; that you read the posts; that you subscribe and support everything this little newsletter stands for. Okay, onward.
I began my writing career scribbling poetry in the sixth grade. I began my cultural education when I toured the country in a band. As we travelled, I read classic Christian authors and encountered the minds of George MacDonald, C.S. Lewis, G.K. Chesterton, and St. Augustine of Hippo. I still go back to works like Orthodoxy, Till We Have Faces, Phantastes, and Confessions. They showed me the dynamic intersection of faith expressed through the craft of writing.
We ended our band days with a 12-day tour of Ireland. We performed in pubs, churches, and missionary cafes. We stayed with Douglas Gresham, C.S. Lewis’s stepson, and his wife Mary for several days at their Rathvinden estate. Rathvinden means “fort of the faeries.” Apropos, yes?
The highlight of our stay at Rathvinden was harvesting vegetables with Mary and making mashed potatoes out of gourds. And seeing the family photographs of Jack and Joy sitting in the garden—Jack, cigarette in hand.
It took me 14 years to finish my bachelor’s degree. With my undergraduate studies in the humanities in tow, I attended Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where I was a Byington Scholar. I never considered myself a scholar, so this was new territory for me. I studied Christian thought and Church history because I wanted to understand the core purpose of the Church in the world.
I had simple questions that needed answers. Like, how did my own experience growing up as a pastor’s kid in an evangelical church shape my life and cultural perspective? But I also wanted to understand the Church now, at this moment and why so many in leadership craved cultural influence and relevance. When I graduated from seminary, I was convinced the Church had lost its way. And, if I was the Church, had I lost my way too? My convictions compelled me further into publishing.
Upon finishing my master’s studies, I published Veneer: Living Deeply in a Surface Society and Home Behind the Sun: Connect with God in the Brilliance of the Everyday with HarperCollins Christian Publishers and a 52-week devotional, Longing for More: Reflections on Finding God in the Rhythms of Life with Bethany House Publishers.
But the publishing world only deepened my convictions that Christianity had succumbed to the machinations of the world. When you’re sitting in a meeting with a prominent “rising star” pastor who wants you to help him write his book and he introduces you to his wife by saying, “This is Tim, he’s going to help me sell a million books,” or when you’re sitting across from a megachurch pastor who tells you that he wants to “leverage his influence” for the work of the Kingdom, you know something’s broken.
(I walked away from both of those projects, by the way.)
And, just when my dream of becoming a full-time writer had become a reality, my wife and I decided it was time to pursue further schooling.
I moved my family to Oxford, England where I studied beauty in the works of C.S. Lewis under the supervision of Alister McGrath for my PhD (King’s College London). While in Oxford, I was awarded a doctoral fellowship at OCCA The Oxford Center for Christian Apologetics. I’m currently working with a university press in the UK on a book examining C.S. Lewis’s northern aesthetics in his fantasy and fiction. I’m also working on two novels. Makes sense, right? Go to the ivory tower, finish doctoral studies, write novels.
But it does make sense. It was the deep dive into Lewis’s notion of beauty that awakened my own desires to mash my creative writing background with what I was learning about beauty. The result of the mashup is my novel, which I titled The Tempest and The Bloom. It’s not published by a traditional publisher. Maybe someday.
The novel writing inspired me to take a portion of my doctoral thesis and submit it to a university press. This book is still in process. And though few might read it, the bigger play here is working out my own thoughts on why beauty and aesthetics matter, not just in our imaginative works but how they shape our ethics and theology.
I hope to package my PhD journey into a book someday. Why? Because I was never academically minded. But when I found myself walking the Oxford countryside, I discovered the PhD to be one of the most imaginative projects I’d ever undertaken. Even more profound was this truth I learned. The PhD is not an arrival. It’s a beginning.
I learned that I know nothing. But I gained tools with which to set out on an adventure of discovery. The pursuit of knowledge is intrinsic to all of us. God created us to thirst for it. And it is this innate curiosity that continues to draw me further out and further in. See what I did there?
My new book, due out with Zondervan in April of 2022, offers a lyrical exploration of the ways beauty can shape our spiritual formation. For too long Christain thinkers have kept explorations of beauty relegated to the arts. This is nearsighted and unfortunate for the body of Christ.
Beauty belongs at the heart of Christian theology. When situated there, the Christian faith explodes with a freshness it currently lacks in our culture.
Why? Because beauty in our theology sets us on fire with the pursuit of the holy. On such a pursuit, the Christian understands how central worship is to their gatherings and the entirety of their daily lives.
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The Fight for Wisdom
I’ve written for Christianity Today, The Huffington Post, Q Ideas, Patheos, Acculturated (a webzine project funded by The John Templeton Foundation) Relevant Magazine, Outreach Magazine, Chick-fil-A, YouthWalk Magazine, Stand Firm Magazine, among others. (Remember, this post started out as a “bio” or “About” page:)
As a writer and editor, I’ve collaborated on over 25 books with authors ranging from entrepreneurs and pastors to former NFL MVPs to platinum-selling and Grammy Award-winning artists. God blessed me with opportunities to help sincere people tell great stories of how God transformed them.
When I survey the venues at which I published my work, I see a maturation that humbles me. Why? Because some of what I’ve written is embarrassing, while in other pieces I see my true self. I once read that a young writer can never be a good writer. I find this to be the way of it most of the time.
But age alone does not make a writer good or wise. Humility does.
The times when I set aside my pride and ambition are the times I find God sitting next to me cheering me on. A couple of years ago, an editor encouraged me to write a novel—the one I mentioned above. But then the publisher refused to publish it. I spent a year writing a book that still might never see the light of day.
I wrote it in solitude, and with much joy. And it was one of my most rewarding works, on a personal and spiritual level. The PhD felt similar. You write the thesis for five people. You engage in the gruelling process of research—a process I’m built for and love—only to have it catalogued by the university and the British library. Lost to the eyes of the public.
Both projects, however, taught me the value of cultivating humility as a writer. And the pursuit of humility never ends. It’s a fight. But a good one.
I’ve given addresses and keynote talks at colleges and universities, St. Aldates Church in Oxford, Catalyst Conference, Q Ideas, Christian Leaders Institute, The Oxford Center for Christian Apologetics, Plywood People, Jubilee Conference, and Allum Conference. I worked as a spiritual director for the Manhattan-based Praxis Labs.
I used to think speaking publically was a right of passage for writers—it’s what you’re supposed to strive for. But I’ve learned that it’s so much more. It’s a privilege to share one’s thoughts with others. But if you don’t approach it with generosity, you’re no better than a clanging cymbal. My friend Ruth taught me this.
At my core, I’m a teacher and discipler. I approach my speaking engagements now with this mindset and consider it an honour to share what God’s taught me—often the hard way—about himself.
I find it interesting that when I began touring with our little acoustic band, I relished sharing what God was teaching me from a pure place. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, and for that season, it was perfect for me. A naive kind of innocence compelled me to speak from the heart.
Now, twenty years later, I find myself returning to that time of innocence and relish it all over again. In the spring, I’m embarking on an old fashion road trip tour with my family —similar to what we did in the band days!
We will be stopping at the houses of old and new friends giving “House Chats” about my new book on beauty. I couldn’t be more energized about this venture. There’s a joy I can’t explain when I think about how God has brought me full circle doing one of the things he put in my heart years ago: speaking to folks in order to inspire their faith journey with the beauty of the Gospel.
The Value of Looking Back Along Life’s Pathway
Why would I spend all this time explaining bits of my journey to you?
Because it’s good to look back and remember. Our memories build meaning into us. And we should talk about the past. It’s when we stop remembering that we lose a little of who we are. It’s not the right now that matters most. It’s all of it. The now, the past, what is to come.
My wife and I look back at our journey’s each year around Christmas. We recount the things that shaped us that year. And we go all the way back and talk about who we were even before we knew each other.
Looking at the past gives us insight into the road map God has plotted for us. It helps us make decisions about our future.
In the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about this “about our future” story. Recently, in looking into the past, we’ve discovered what we believe to be our road ahead. And it involves you.
Each new day is our becoming. And we never really arrive.
As resident aliens, we do our best to follow after Christ. And pray we have the strength to go where he leads.
That’s my prayer for you, my friend.
Take an hour this evening or this weekend, and write your own bio. Go way back. Even further. And list your blessings and failings. All of it is beautiful. Because all of it is you, and who God created you to be. He mends our cracks with the gold of his salvation—the joy of or redemption.
And it’s good to write it down, and remember, like David did—the goodness and faithfulness of God.
Every journey is unique. Mine’s not yours. It’s just for me. And it’s not. My journey is meant to bless you, and yours is meant to bless me, and all those you meet in this life.
Be proud of yourself, not because a self-help guru tells you to or because it’s good for your mental health. Be proud of yourself, because God is proud of you. You’re popular with him.
This is the weight of glory Lewis describes in his famous address. He sees you. Let that fuel your life right now and for all time.