Love's Early Flame
Thoughts on whether true love is an act of passion or the will.
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Today’s Poem & Commentary
Everything I write looks jumbled and messed,
Like my life when I don’t see you.
Then I find you in the angled shadows
Of my longing, and fall with you beneath
The trees, in dewy grass, by river’s edge,
Spread upon the stones that pile the bank,
Caught in the dappled moon-show,
Feeling first signs of belonging.
Who can bridle love’s early flame?
What can describe the full-bright burn?
—that eternal taste in our finite bodies
Tempts of treasure, before its time.
—and, oh the freedom when the veil
Lifts as love pulls the sinews of our being.
Puissant lovers rise with Eos,1
Who lavishes golden blessings upon them.
But when the embers of passion fade, the cool
Reveals a river-distance, forded only by the will.
Who will drown for the other and dare the distance?
What wintry waters will we navigate to reunite?
Only those who strike the flint of Eros2
With the bare fist of their dogged will?
Love is passion, love is will, we say.
Nay!—Aphrodite3 knows not these fallacies.4
For the affection-less will rings like a clanging cymbal5
And raw passions burn us alive.
Only those who kindle dying coals with
Tireless desire to keep love’s will tangled with her fire,
To find again the glory of desire
Kept safe in the dying upon the will-full pyre
Find a forever gleam unerasable by distance
—a flame unquenchable in its hesed-ness.6
Waxhaw, North Carolina, October 2022
The early lines containing “jumbled” and “messed” began out of frustration with how my writing was going that morning. But it became a reflection of how the beauty of love’s passion must be fueled by the will when emotions fade. But those thoughts turned into a rumination and perhaps even a rejection of the common Christian idea that love is merely an act of the will. Of course, it isn’t.
To frame love in this way presents us with a false dichotomy. The affections and the will work in tandem. The Apostle Paul shows us this in his reflection on love to the Corinthian Christians: “If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” (13:3) This willfull act means nothing without our affection. He then expounds on the affections that constitute true love, patience and kindness chief among them.
And I’m not necessarily describing purely sexual affection and willful acts between a man and a woman. In fact, this poem began as a reflection on how far I felt from God. Though I published it today, this poem’s first draft was in Summer, of 2019.
The Greek god of passion. “Eos | Greek and Roman Mythology | Britannica,” accessed November 2, 2022, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Eos-Greek-and-Roman-mythology.
The Greek god of love. “Eros | Greek God | Britannica,” accessed November 2, 2022, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Eros-Greek-god.
The Greek goddess of sexual love and beauty. “Aphrodite | Mythology, Worship, & Art | Britannica,” accessed November 2, 2022, https://www.britannica.com/topic/Aphrodite-Greek-mythology.
“SUMMA THEOLOGIAE: The Effects of Love (Prima Secundae Partis, Q. 28),” accessed November 2, 2022, https://www.newadvent.org/summa/2028.htm.
“1 Corinthians 13 :: NIV,” accessed November 2, 2022, https://web.mit.edu/jywang/www/cef/Bible/NIV/NIV_Bible/1COR+13.html.
חֶסֶד ḥesed occurs around 250 times and is usually translated “mercy,” “kindness,” or “steadfast love” (often translated “lovingkindness” in the older English versions). Expository Dictionary Of Bible Words, s.v. “MERCY, MERCIFUL,” paragraph 14941.
I first read and then listened to the poem. How beautifully it sounds spoken! Like a crystal-clear song that caused me to shudder with delight. The words took residence in my soul and I could not but agree with the message. Even though I had known it before.